"As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold watch
to serve as a reminder of your many years with the company. It needs a
lot of winding up, is always a little late, and every day at quarter to
five, it stops working."
Plaque on my desk at work:
Would you like to meet new people?
Would you like a change?
Would you like some excitement?
Would you like a new job?
Just screw up one more time."