Thought conveyance portal.

Why?

** Okay I need to rephrase my thought… this is only in SOME relationships… most are pretty good.

Why am I always called to initiate in some of my relationships?  One friend "well you could call me"  HELLO so could you!!  I do believe phone lines work ing both directions??  Even call and say Hey, can you call me back… Hello!!!  I just realized that I am always intiating… Okay not always in every relationship, but in this one yes.  They could e-mail me too…once in a while they "respond" but that is just not enough to say I appreciate you…  HELLO!

"You teach people how to treat you."  this statement seems to keep popping up.   What am I telling people about me?  What vibs do I throw off anyway? 

Sigh… then when people really like me and I like them… there are barriers and I have to walk away.  I ….grrrrr….  lol

But I have learned and I know God is good and He has promised to bless me.  I do not think I am big enough to screw it all up completely.  I might delay it, I might change it, but I don’t think I can stop it.  Right?  One of my friends might be quick to say "yes you can..sin and Shazam blessings gone promises LOST"  She probably does not mean it the way I just wrote it, but when I hear her explain it I feel like God is not forgiving or gracious…  But when I look at the lineage of Christ I am reminded that God blesses those who make mistakes too.  So look to the light aim for the heights and do your best.

I guess I’ll keep calling and e-mailing…  they can keep responding, and maybe one day I’ll know why.

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