Thought conveyance portal.


I did something that I have been wondering if I should do for quite some time.

When I was in Maryland, Jenna asked me about how I decided to go and visit Nick and the crew.  I just told her I wanted to do more than just survive, I want to live my life.  She figured I was braver than she would be.  Well today I did something even scarier, but if one needs an answer to a question they have to have the gumption (I’d say the balls to…but I am a lady ) to ask it.  I figure since I was brave enough to go out to Maryland I could be brave enough for this.

Rats the waiting is gonna kill me… and then again I might never get a real response.  People can be like that and still be wonderful people.  Sometimes they just don’t know what to say.  Either way I feel better, and this dark spell of self doubt is moving past me.  I need to move where the sun shines more and the humidity is higher LOL. 

I wish I could say that mentally I am balanced all the time, but I think honesty is important.  I recover well, and I do have faith & hope on my side.  Perhaps I need to learn to keep my thoughts in more, but then I hide myself away and recovery is harder.  I want to be myself ALL the time, while not allowing myself to be mean to others (which is not a habit anyway, but sometimes when a person is grouchy they lash out) or anything like that.

Hey did you all hear about McCain’s VP choice?  And how she is a blonde with a dye job?  I wonder if she was so nervous that she forgot how to use regular words and know that Canada is a independent (though we rely on the US heavily) country??  Reminds me of a movie where the President had to remind the VP not to say the "Nether regions" when talking about the Netherlands.  Anyway I thought it was funny, but I feel bad for her.  She might be a really good person and a good leader, one hopes so since she is a senator and all.


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